The awful truth: sometimes we’re all ‘Bad Moms’

New comedy film hits way too close to home 

By Kelly Hockenberry, Columnist, The Times

KellyColumn415Newest815I rarely (if ever) go to see a movie in the theater. It isn’t that I don’t enjoy it, I just never seem to make it a priority. Plus, with On Demand and Netflix, I feel like I will get around to watching, eventually.

However, I really, really want to make a night of it and see the new movie “Bad Moms” with a bunch of rowdy girlfriends. In fact, since it opened this weekend, I have already seen Facebook posts of girls who had the same idea. (Don’t tell me any punch lines or even whether or not you thought it was worth paying $20 for. I want to go, regardless.)

I love the premise of the film because, as a mom, it is just soooooo relatable. I mean, who hasn’t screwed up this whole “parenting” concept once or twice? Ummmm, I have a list as long as my arm of the things I have said/done that could put my children on a therapist’s couch for years. Thank goodness Oprah isn’t part of mainstream society anymore or they would end up on her show.

I had the idea to pose the question to my friends to uncover their best “Bad Mom” story.  And, not surprisingly, they rose to the occasion. The pervasive and recurring theme had to do with ignoring children when they were sick or injured. Stuff like that always makes you feel like an A-­Lister. Who hasn’t pumped their kid full of Tylenol and sent them back out onto the field (like they are Olympic athletes trying to win gold) when it turns out that they really did, in fact, break their (fill in the blank) or have strep throat? I mean….bright side….at least we can’t be accused of coddling, right?

I also had a smattering of stories about “forgetting” children…anywhere from the airport (THAT was a good one!) to Sunday school (can you see my hand in the air? I was in line at TJMaxx with an ADORABLE blazer, in the days before my kids had a cell phone, and completely lost track of pick­up time. Whoopsie. You can imagine the praying that must have happened on behalf of my children for a good long while.)

And, who else (in addition to me and a few, anonymous friends) has gotten fed up with holidays, specifically those with absurdly high expectations all due to some stupid, imaginary figure, and pulled the trigger on a good, hearty dose of reality? Like, five minutes before the school bus was due to arrive and you accidentally/on purpose confirmed (or didn’t deny) the non­existence of a certain bearded, jolly, fat guy who could NEVER POSSIBLY fit down a chimney, let alone fly in the air with a bunch of reindeer? No? Just me?

Like I said, this movie can’t possibly hold a candle to my mistakes. And, you know what? I think my kids have blossomed into young adulthood relatively unscathed.

What is your best “Bad Mom” story? Are you brave enough to share? Please, leave it in the comment section below!

Happy Weekend

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