New year, get off on a better foot with friends, family and lovers
By Nancy Plummer, Columnist, The Times
Happy New Year!
We’ve all been listening to our friends and family members boast about their New Year resolutions: getting to the gym three times a week, losing 10 pounds, or budgeting better this year. But what about New Year’s resolutions for your relationships? If holiday movies have taught us nothing, it’s that the most important things in life are loved ones.
This time of year, I work with my clients to discover and establish their relationship goals. Below is my time-tested worksheet, to achieve amazing relationship goals in just one year.
When making New Year goals, it’s important to make sure each goal is measurable, in order to monitor your results. Most of all, remember not to get down on yourself when you fall off the wagon; you’re only human. Not losing faith in your ability to achieve your goals is the most vital part.
1. Relationship with Yourself: You’ve heard the old adage, “You can’t love anyone if you don’t love yourself.” it’s time.
First, write down one main goal for yourself for this year. (Example: Lose 25 pounds.)
Then, write down one “rule” that will help you achieve this goal. (Example: Never eat past 8 pm.)
2. Relationship with Your Children: Once a parent, always a parent. Your job is to be your kids’ greatest cheerleader.
First, write down one main goal for yourself concerning your children for this year. (Example: Spend one quality hour with my child each day.)
Then, write down one “rule” that will help you achieve this goal. (Example: Schedule time with each child every day with a specific thing to do, such as make dinner, bake a cake, do a puzzle, watch a movie, etc.)
3. Relationship with Your Family: As George Bernard Shaw once said, “A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” As we as all get older, try letting bygones be bygones. Also, make opportunities to see your family members more often. Instead of giving gifts, try making memories instead. It’s quality time that counts.
First, write down one main goal for yourself concerning your family for this year. (Example: Implement Sunday family dinners and include extended family members.)
Then, write down one “rule” that will help you achieve this goal. (Example: Reach out to family members through phone calls, texts, skype, or emails at least once every two weeks.)
4. Relationship with Friends: As we all learned as Brownies or Cub Scouts (remember?), “Make new friends, but keep the old…” Facebook certainly helps us keep in touch, but nothing compares to being face to face to catch up and keep the friendship dear.
First, write down one main goal for yourself concerning your friends. (Example: Get together with old friends at least once per month.)
Then, write down one “rule” that will help you achieve this goal. (Example: On the first day of every month, send out an invite to a different group of friends to get together that month.)
5. Relationship with Colleagues: Since we spend so much time at work, let’s make the time more fun and productive with our colleagues.
First, write down one main goal for yourself concerning your colleagues. (Example: Have lunch with different people at work once per week.)
Then, write down one “rule” that will help you achieve this goal. (Example: On Monday, put out a lunch invite to a different colleague for that week.
6. Relationship with Your Partner: Whether you’re dating or have been married for 30 years, get the romance to a whole new level this year!
First, write down one main goal for yourself concerning your partner. (Example: Make your partner know how much you respect, admire and desire your partner.)
Then, write down one “rule” that will help you achieve this goal. (Example: Give your partner at least three distinctive compliments per day while keeping your criticisms to zero.)
Wow – what a great year 2016 is going to be! Just remember to check in with your goals and rules at least once a week to monitor your progress. If you really want to see and feel a difference in your relationships, try out this method and remember the most important rule is to make every day count!
Nancy Plummer is the President and Founder of All About Connecting – a Personal Dating, Matchmaker and Relationship Coaching service. www.allaboutconnecting.com
