By Nancy Plummer, Columnist, The Times
We’ve all heard from friends, family members, and co-workers, that they are “sort of” dating, but don’t know if it’s going to lead to anything. Many of our clients at All About Connecting say the same thing to us. Then, they wonder why the relationship just peters out. To all of my readers, I promise you will do better to JUST GO FOR IT!
As Nick Cannon once said, “Nobody can predict the future. You just have to give your all to the relationship you’re in and do your best to take care of your partner, communicate and give them every last drop of love you have.”
Let’s be honest. Online dating can be addictive. There’s always someone new writing you, someone who may just be a little more fun, sexy, good looking, wealthy, active, or whatever. We all have doubts if the person we’re dating is truly “the one.” However, when we have this mindset, it keeps us from enjoying the present moment with that person, man or woman, and thus it keeps our hearts at bay. Just being in such a noncommittal state, we naturally look for reasons to end the relationship.
Instead, why not try another approach? As I noted earlier, “Nobody can predict the future.” So, just go for it! Give your new relationship all you’ve got! Here are three great reasons to “just go for it.”
- Summer is here. It’s so much more fun to have someone you love to take to the outdoor summer concerts, invite another couple over and strike up the grill, ride bikes along the boardwalk, hike the Appalachian trail, sip cocktails at the outdoor cafes, and even enjoy a European holiday. Compare bucket lists and enjoy checking them off one by one. That’s one great way to see if the relationship will truly be long term. Perhaps your new partner is a terrible traveler, or is more than a couch potato than his online dating profile depicted. Or, maybe she’s even more sexy on the beach than you ever dreamed, or shows her true compassionate side when on vacation and away from her job. Whatever you find out this summer, it certainly is better than your sitting at home waiting for an invite.
- “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” (From Alfred Lord Tennyson’s poem In Memoriam:27, 1850) Most of our clients regret not delving into a relationship, and losing out on what could have been the best chapter of their life. They regret they didn’t have the courage to “just go for it” and see what might happen. Sometimes they get lucky and get a second chance, but that luck is rare. Better to just jump in with both feet and give it all you’ve got. Take a risk at breaking your heart. If you think about it, isn’t all of your life a gamble, really? We don’t know what the next moment will bring. We only have right now; and wouldn’t it be more fun to let your heart skip a beat, be creative with your love, and feel the richness of life when you give your new partner the gift of love?
- Life is short. Let’s face it. After you are 40 years of age, years tend to fly by. We tend to barely be able to keep track of our children’s ages and we ourselves still feel as if we are 25 ourselves, until we look in the mirror and see we are not getting any younger! Holidays come and go faster than we can make the preparations, and suddenly we count the number of years we’ve been alone and it’s far too many. In fact, we’ve been alone for so many years, we wonder if we should even bother to find love again. We wonder too if in the end we could ever live with anyone else again. But who really wants to live and die alone? Who wants to just let life go by without a special loved one by our side? Most of us really don’t. Truthfully, most of our clients at All About Connecting are just scared. Yet, even our clients who have been alone for twelve to twenty years, who come to us with just a smidge of hope that they may find someone, realize that life is too short and they just “go for it” and most are the happiest they’ve ever been.
Why? Perhaps because with age comes wisdom. They’ve realized there is no one “perfect” out there and that they are not “perfect” either. They realize that it truly is more fun to “just go for it” and love the one they’re with!
Enjoy
